please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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