How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
