matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
