i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
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