mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Randomize
