does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
