i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
