yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
