well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
