Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I still have a little drunk in my system
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
