I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
