we have pet lesbian snakes
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
