I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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