i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
