just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
