You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Actions speak louder than pants.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Randomize
