That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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