I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
