I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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