you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
