ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
