chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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