Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
