i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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