it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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