Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
