on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
