I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
