I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
