god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
