Say something about gay babies.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Randomize
