Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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