my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
