I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
