i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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