we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
he was CRYING into my vagina
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Just puked most of my soul out..
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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