i will never coherently bang her
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
you inspire me to be a worse person
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
