I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
