He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
