You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
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