I smell stomach acid.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize