in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
