He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Help me help you realize you are a moron
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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