I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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