the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
