he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
