Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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