I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
