have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Randomize
