i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
