Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
