I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Randomize
