Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize