i already hear my dad disowning me
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
