Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
