i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
