Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
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