you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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